Thursday, October 11, 2007

Intoverts and Extroverts on Even Ground with Self-Confidence

I have an ecourse on Self-Confidence. Actually one that is for men and women and one for women only.

When I was researching certain pieces of the lessons, I found a clarification between self-esteem and self-confidence:

Self-esteem is how you think and feel about yourself. It is how YOU perceive you.

Self-confidence is a belief in yourself and abilities. You can have different levels of self-confidence in different areas of your life.

You may have already understood the difference. But knowing this difference, you will possibly find 9 Steps to Unshakeable Confidence by 9 Steps by Dr Jill Ammon-Wexler more meaningful. What I like most about the article is that it puts introverts and extroverts on even ground with self-confidence.

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Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Introverts and Balance in Business Networking

If you are an introvert like me, belonging to more than one organization for networking, you want to balance your energy and time. Everyone though wants a balance of give and take in resources, contacts, or clients. This keeps you in a steady flow of receiving. But in particular as an introvert and a salesperson, what are some ways to achieve this balance?

1) In a structured or unstructured event, when you connect with a number of contacts or connections for your specific networking purpose, you take don’t you? You take away something of value for yourself. Do you follow-up with those contacts? Don’t leave it up to them. You can do it easily enough without much extroverting. You can use something like I do, sendoutcards.

2) Do you follow-up with something they want from you? If you can, be on the giving end early in whatever way you can no matter how small. Your reputation will grow to be a connector. Giving is fairly easy for an introvert easy on because of our wanting to have close, but few connections.

3) If you belong to the association or organization participate on a committee. Even if there is one specific thing you know you can contribute for a committee, let someone know what you can do. Yes; you balance your membership with giving.

4) You may have some specific comments for the facilitator of an event to know that it was worthwhile. After all, you got a positive return on your time and energy didn’t you? Pick up the telephone or email that person to thank them.

5) You meet someone you know would be a valuable connector for you. Another take. Balance by talking for a few minutes to build rapport, with an exchange of cards and then move on. As an introvert I love being free to move on and recharge.

6) You got a referral you asked for. Now what do you give back? It’s quite appropriate to write a handwritten note or give a small gift to appreciate the person who opened the door for you.

7) If you always take but are short to give, you will find yourself not reaping all you can. If you always give but do not take, you will find yourself on the short end and maybe resentful. Stay in balance to stay in the flow of networking.

It’s a studied fact that when you balance give and take, you reap more than you would than if you just take. Reflect on how your networking balances give and take. Then act to either be or maintain balance.

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Saturday, October 06, 2007

Intoverts Can't Lead? NO WAY!

INTJ is my Myers Briggs assessment for at least 20 years. Really. In that time I have: lead a sales organization of about 30 salespeople as sales manager; as president lead a women's business owner association with 150 members; as VP of Membership for another women's organization took the lead to get a directory online and I could literally bore you with these leadership roles.

I was reading Introverts versus Extroverts in which the author implies that only extroverts lead. Oh, there is one sentence eluding to that there are introverts who lead, "Some will lead in a realm that will be readily recognized, others will lead in their own quiet way."

I know I wasn't quiet in any sense of the word. Gee. I can remember one of my outside salespeople gifting me with contractor boots and note about "Kick Butt."

I think there are some cases that this is true that an introvert WOULD lead in an unassuming way. But to say that extroverts are going to be recognized as leaders and introverts will lead but not necessarily be known by doing - it's just not true.

What do you think?

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Thursday, October 04, 2007

Self-Talk to Sales Success for Introverts

As introverts we spend a good deal of time in our own heads. Do you listen to your self-talk? What is your self-talk saying? How is your self-talk serving you? If your self-talk is more negative, and sounds like a snake’s rattle, it will scare you off from moving forward. This is poisonous thinking for people who are salespeople.

Most of us have reoccurring thought patterns which we repeat over and over again. Research shows that these repetitive thoughts create a neural pathway in our brain. If you have heard the term ‘limiting beliefs’, then you know it is negative self-talk over time that does this to your brain. The good news is that you can change the pathway.

Having a positive outlook and self-talk is a must have for salespeople. Yet, how is this possible if you are in a slump, just lost a customer or find yourself reluctant to even follow-up? How do you move away from the snake’s rattle?

Negative self-talk affects your emotions, which in turn affects your actions, and in the end can limit your sales performance.

Listen to yourself. Have you ever said something like “I don’t have what it takes”, “I didn’t deserve that sale anyway”, or “Why can’t I succeed?” The first part to change that neural pathway and shake off the snakes rattle is to recognize what you are saying to yourself, in particular what you say repeatedly.

Change your focus. Have an opposite and positive affirmation to replace the negative. Replace the thought “I don’t have what it takes,” with “I’m learning what works.” Instead of saying “I didn’t deserve that sale,” rephrase it to “I can learn from that experience.” The key is to say something to yourself that moves you in a more positive direction.

Challenge your thinking. You might want to ask yourself, “Is this thought beneficial to me now? What is underlying this negativity? How is it helping me? Or is it?” You want to be easy with yourself yet challenge the relevancy and benefit of such thinking.

James Lane Allen (1849 –1925), an American novelist, is credited with saying, “You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.” You could reframe Allen’s quotation with “Your sales results today, are where your thoughts today have brought you. Your sales results will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.” Where do you want your sales results to be?

Put It Into Action:
- What one thought, one self-talk phrase, can you identify right now which you believe is the most negative one for you?

- What one thing can you plan do to when you next hear this negative self-talk? (Hint: Decide on an action that moves you to the total opposite thought.)

- Once you have a more positive thought in place of this working in your self-talk, what will that mean for you? Stay focused on this benefit for you.

Want more ideas for being the best introvert in business you can be?

Sign up to receive a FREE Report, FREE ezine and FREE Teleclasses from Pat Weber - America’s #1 Coach for Introverts, Shy and Reluctant People Who Sell at http://www.prostrategies.com.

Uncover your personality and #1 selling strategy with quick assessment tools at http://www.prostrategies.com/free/Type_Assess. Read more!